Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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