Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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