Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
