I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A bitchslap is in order.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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