Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
