I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
