Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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