Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Let's paint friendship bongs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
