I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
