great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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