$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
