FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
