Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize