Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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