hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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