I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
