It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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