I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
