Betty ford says i'm here all night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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