he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
