I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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