I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
