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Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize