Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize