So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
