Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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