remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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