1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
