Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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(540): new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/tvzk

Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (1698)
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(540): View more from Virginia

she looked like the before picture.

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(540): she looked like the before picture. http://tfl.nu/zq32

Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (4071)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope

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(301): You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope http://tfl.nu/v6u5

Replies (2) Good night (3969) Bad night (608)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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(712): Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape." http://tfl.nu/hfcj

Replies (37) Good night (10093) Bad night (1855)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8

Replies (11) Good night (924) Bad night (4522)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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(912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0

Replies (4) Good night (4340) Bad night (890)
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(917): View more from New York City

How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

(1-917): View more from New York City

I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

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(917): How do you have time to get laid so much in law school? (1-917): I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian http://tfl.nu/71w8

Replies (14) Good night (4403) Bad night (979)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love

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(336): as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love http://tfl.nu/xemn

Replies (6) Good night (2690) Bad night (1040)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.

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(859): While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed. http://tfl.nu/3phj

Replies (8) Good night (3359) Bad night (916)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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(414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud

Replies (4) Good night (3350) Bad night (1471)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.

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(330): He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me. http://tfl.nu/bsc2

Replies (13) Good night (2239) Bad night (671)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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(580): That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/nlfm

Replies (4) Good night (1235) Bad night (680)
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(802): View more from Vermont

All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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(802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5

Replies (2) Good night (857) Bad night (399)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up

(701): View more from North Dakota

Shania Twain would have been proud

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(218): the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up (701): Shania Twain would have been proud http://tfl.nu/u6vz

Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (341)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?

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(613): Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower? http://tfl.nu/hj3e

Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (749)

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