Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games

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(520): View more from Arizona

normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
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(404): View more from Georgia

The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.

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(647): View more from Ontario

you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass

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