i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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