my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary