Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

never play flip cup with pint glasses

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(503): never play flip cup with pint glasses http://tfl.nu/n0k9

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.

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(920): I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on. http://tfl.nu/vax8

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(931): View more from Tennessee

a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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(931): a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra. http://tfl.nu/ga1u

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(229): View more from Georgia

Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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(229): Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment. http://tfl.nu/tuh7

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(315): View more from New York

it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.

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(315): it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right. http://tfl.nu/vsow

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(626): View more from California

One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

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(626): One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska http://tfl.nu/5za1

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(817): View more from Texas

Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.

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(817): Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent. http://tfl.nu/lzjs

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(818): View more from California

She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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(818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.

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(250): Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks. http://tfl.nu/2d3d

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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(919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa

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(842): View more from

we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone

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(842): we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone http://tfl.nu/yvho

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(256): View more from Alabama

Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?

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(256): Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters? http://tfl.nu/uct5

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?

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(832): Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life? http://tfl.nu/p6xv

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(718): View more from New York

I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.

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(718): I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best. http://tfl.nu/yss2

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(310): View more from California

Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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(310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w

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