I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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