What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
