As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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