"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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