the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
