I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
