I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
