The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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