Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
