I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
