as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
