I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
