I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
