Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
