i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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