i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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