My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
