my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
