I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize