I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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