I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
