I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
