Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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