ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
