You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
