Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
