it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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