Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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