i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
