he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
