how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
