after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
