It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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